All that pain you’ve kept
beneath those hidden faces
and all those tears you’ve cried
on bathroom floors and pillow cases
all those aches, wounds and insecurities
you’ve been carrying for a while
give them all to me
so I could see you smile.
I know you’re aching
and you won’t ever break
but the world is so cruel, my love
how long will you take?
from all this pain you’ve been through
life will always go on
maybe you should learn to live a little too.
Live, my child
Do you ever sit on a bathroom floor and cry your heart out because it seems as if your world is crashing down and there is nothing you can do. You feel so empty that you don’t understand the point of anything. You press your knees against your chest and cover them with your arms trying to make yourself as small as possible. I’m trying not to be negative, but I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve done that.
I’ve cried because of anger, anguish, pain, and because those around me wouldn’t understand or maybe I was bad at explaining. Or maybe it was both.
But no matter what sometimes I feel like my bathroom tiles and my pillow cases have soaked more tears than any shoulders could have.
I wrote that poem because I was tired of carrying weight and for a tiny split second, I wanted someone to say, “Hey I’ve got you. It’s okay.” But I guess… maybe everyone else is busy crying on bathroom floors too. I know how it’s like to live in a constant state of anxiety, a constant state of panic and even if it is for a split second I would gladly take away someone’s pain from them. But remember crying does not mean you’re weak or you’re a failure. It just means you’re alive. Think of it like this: when a baby is born the first thing the doctors do is make sure the baby cries, because that’s an indication that the baby is alive and is normal.
Poetry book: Curing My Venom